If I did it…I’d have kicked the crap out of OJ

{imagining myself as a publisher, just approached by three months ago OJ}

Hey, Orinthal, good to hear from you. How’s life down in Florida treatin ya? Uh-huh. How about the kids, how are they doing? Good, good, I know that first year of college is tough for anyone, but especially for…well, no, I’m not saying kids say stuff to her about you, just, look let’s forget it.

So, how can I help you? You’ve written a book? Well, I gotta think that you’ve missed a little bit on the time window for relevancy, but it might still have some impact. Sensational? Well, what’s it about? A hypothetical – I’m listening. WHAT? Wait, let me get this right: You want to write a book about how you would have done it if you HAD killed Nicole and Ron Goldman.? OJ, you can’t be serious. You are.

Juice, don’t you think people will see it as an admission of guilt? You’re way is completely different that how it was done. Well, I guess that is one question down. Still, aren’t you afraid of the public outcry? I don’t think this would sit very well with the general population. You think people want to hear your side? You think they’re ready to forgive you? I just, I dont know OJ.

You want a TV special too??? Wow, I gotta say Juice, I think this is just an overall bad idea. Who would even put that on TV? The big networks won’t touch that with a ten foot poll. FOX? Look Juice, I know that Fox has shown some pretty crappy shows; hell, they still do. Have you seen that new show with the guy off of “Everybody Loves Raymond”. Might as well call it “Nobody watched this Show”. OJ, I’m sorry, I’m just gonna have to say no at this time. Just $50,000? No, that’s still not worth it. No OJ, I can’t lend you any money. No, OJ, you can’t come stay at my place for awhile. Ok, I’ll send you a care package.

Ideas of who would bite? I don’t kow, go talk to the people who published Jose Conseco’s book. If they’ll give him a platform, they’ll give anyone a platform. He’s an idiot, at least you can’t speak somewhat intelligently. Oh, and OJ – please just tell me you didn’t really do it. OJ…..OJ?…..OJ, you still there????

{aaaand scene}

Thoughts at the closing bell:

• The holiday season officially begins tomorrow with the day of giving Thanks for all we have in this world. I’m thankful for so much, I don’t have time to type it out here. Suffice to say, God is good.
• A former Russian Spy was recently poisened in London. The USSR is making a comeback, I gotta a hunch. The glory days of the Cold War are looking for a comeback
• Have I mentioned I love Christmas. One month from Saturday, how phenominal.

One love to you all, holla atcha boy.